"Oh my god, I like totally fainted on the subway today"

A new year has arrived, and with it all the resolutions people make of eating less, losing weight, working out, sizing down. I normally wouldn't care what crazy diet fad the high-strung, stick-thin women of this city have come up with to torture themselves - but now I wish they wouldn't. I have just learned that the most frequent reason for delays and stops in the subway traffic in New York is women on diets who get dizzy or faint because they haven't taken in enough calories to stay on their feet. It's true - the news carried the story this week. Wow. The subway administrators should start serving emergency donuts at the entrances.

So - to all women out there who think being thin is worth falling under a train for: Please start eating again, so I can get to work on time.